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“Always-Put-Together Moms” Are a Lot Like My Kitchen

"Always-Put-Together Moms" Are A Lot Like My Kitchen

This post was originally published on September 16, 2011 as a guest post on Audra Michelle’s blog, Rediscovering Domesticity.  Audra has closed that blog and is starting over at AudraMichelle.com.  She has graciously allowed me to republish my guest post here.  Enjoy!

We all know those moms who seem to have it all together all. of. the. time. You know who I mean.

You drop by her house unannounced and it is so clean that it looks like no one even lives there. You happen to run into her at the grocery store and her hair looks better than yours did on prom night. At parties she always brings the most amazing desserts, yet she hardly weighs 10 pounds. She is put together 123% of the time and it makes you want to throw up.

If you don’t know a mom like this, then guess what. You probably are that woman! That seems silly, right? Because of course you don’t have it all together all of the time. Yet, we fool ourselves into thinking women actually do!

My guess is that most “Always-Put-Together Moms” are actually a lot like my kitchen. Allow me to explain…

This is my kitchen. We moved into this house a year ago and the kitchen was brand new at that time, so it is a fairly nice space. I didn’t do any special cleaning before this picture and if you ignore the produce stand that has thrown up all over my counter top and the clean dishes in the sink, then I think it looks pretty good!

But when we start to look a little closer…

What exactly is in this sink?

  • My Toddler’s Bathtub Book – It was growing mildew in between the pages and should have been washed a long time ago. YUCK!
  • My Toddler’s Highchair Tray – This was the first good scrubbing I gave the tray all day, which means that some breakfast crumbs got to enjoy lunch also.
  • Our Water Pitcher – I have no clue when was the last time was that I actually washed this before refilling it and putting it back in the fridge.

Speaking of the water pitcher…

Are you kidding?!?! I was suppose to replace the filter when?!?!?! I officially apologize to anyone whom I have served water to in the last 5 months.

And in my fridge…

Yep, not just one, but two jars of moldy food. It is at this point that my mother just unsubscribe from my blog.

The worst part is that after I took this picture I put those jars back in my fridge because I didn’t have the time to clean them out and recycle them. As I’m writing this they may or may not still be in there. Please don’t tell my mom.

I could go on and on… The constantly disorganized spice cabinet that makes me want to scream… The left over seed packets that have been on the counter since spring… The tupperware drawer that my husband and I regularly argue about…

My “put-together kitchen” is just an illusion. So is that mom that always makes you feel bad about yourself.

We all have our faults and problems. Some people’s problems are just more visible than others. You might have clutter control issues, but maybe “Always-Put-Together Mom” suffers from low self esteem, over spending, or feels disconnected from her husband.

This post isn’t about trying to put down the “Always-Put-Together Mom” by speculating about her deep secrets. It is about recognizing that none of us are perfect no matter how we seem on the outside.

So stop beating yourself up and go clean out your fridge instead. Heaven knows I need to!

How do you handle the temptation to compare yourself to an “Always-Put-Together Mom?”

11 Comments

  1. Love it! I have girlfriends like that. I have no idea what is hiding in the back of my fridge and I’m not ready to find out, maybe this summer. Maybe, we’ll see. LOL.
    Angel

    1. LOL! Cleaning out the fridge is the WORST!!!! I’m glad I’m not the only one who tries to ignore the science experiments in the back of the fridge.

  2. Yes! Nobody has it all together.

    I’ve learn to just focus on myself – my strengths and not compare myself to other women. We each have our own unique strengths and nobody is a ‘complete package’!

  3. Put-together-mom, hasn’t-run-a-comb-through-her-hair-since-Sunday-mom, it doesn’t matter… We’re all in the same boat at one time or another. Each of us has been stranded in the car with one wipe left and a major diaper blowout. Hanging out in the grocery store parking lot trying to muster enough energy to unload the kids and brave the store. Looking for our missing keys in the toy box or under the washer because, well, you have a toddler in the house so Lord knows any logical place they may be is completely out of the question. It’s what makes us moms. Perfectly imperfect moms. I just wish our brains would return after pregnancy. I think that would solve much of our problems. Oh and a girlfriend that comes over with her kids for sleepovers and pizza dates when the husbands are out of town. Wouldn’t that be fun!? Forget the perfect mom façade. Just bring the pizza! 😉

    1. Jen, this is beautiful and perfect. Are you a blogger? You have a gift with words and perfectly described the chaos of motherhood. I would love to share part of your comment on my FB page if you are comfortable with that. Please let me know.

      Also, I LOVE the idea of having a girlfriend come over while hubby is out of town. That is going to be happening soon in my house. I should try to arrange something!

  4. What an incredibly sweet response to get! Thank you so much! I would be honored if you used my comment on your FB page. Email me if you need anything else, or want to tag me.
    I think you should totally plan a girlfriends and kids sleepover! Then blog it!!!

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