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The Day the Natural Living Community Turned on Me

It is time to start celebrating the natural living and green baby steps of those around us!

Last May, Erin from The Humbled Homemaker shared a post I had written in 2010 about washing disposable swim diapers.  She has a large facebook following and the post took off like wild fire. The Facebook post received 1,113 likes, over 300 comments, and 3,932 shares. All of that attention on Facebook resulted in my highest blog traffic day ever up to that point. Over 16,000 different people visited my blog that day.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t all good news for me, because it was also the day the natural living community turned on me.

The comments came pouring in…

bad facebook comments

Many, many, MANY people thought that I was disgusting, an idiot, or both for suggesting that people can wash a disposable swim diaper and use it again. The cloth diaper users thought I was stupid for not using a cloth swim diaper. The disposable diaper users thought I was disgusting for wanting to wash any kind of diaper. Reading this right now, you just might think I’m a disgusting idiot. That is fine. The disposable swim diaper tip isn’t for everyone, but…

The comment that really made me do a double take was the one who wrote:

homebirther comment

What does having a homebirth have to do with your disgust over washing a disposable swim diaper???

On one hand it makes me shake my head, but on the other hand I get it. She was claiming her natural living badge of honor. She was making it clear to everyone that she knew the secret handshake. She was in the club.

She claimed the homebirth badge of honor, but she could have just as easily said…

  • cloth diaper user
  • non-vaccination family
  • baby wearer
  • breastfeeder
  • co-sleeper
  • organic, locally grown foodie
  • recycler

…and on and on and on. With each badge of honor you put on, you can demand a greater amount of respect.

me upset

There I was standing in the town square of the natural living community and being stoned for my “stupid & disgusting” idea to wash disposable swim diapers.

On the first day I was laughing off the comments. On the second day the pain was starting to sink in.

I found myself wanting to shout back at those throwing the stones, “Wait!!  I’m one of you! I’m had a natural birth. I breastfed both of my children well beyond the age of one. I don’t always buy organic, but I try my best. I’m one of you!!

Comments on a Facebook post really can’t be taken to heart too much. I won’t cry myself to sleep because about 5 billion people told me not to be stupid and buy a cloth swim diaper.

But I need to take a step back and ask myself: when have I been part of the natural living crowd ready to throw a stone at one of our own?

When have I stood in judgment at someone else’s baby-step? When have I chosen to look down my nose instead of offering grace?

Would anyone ever scold someone for starting a new exercise routine by running around the block? Telling them they should have started with a marathon? Of course not! Baby-steps are important. They are of value and shouldn’t be dismissed.

Living a natural, green life is so difficult. The research. The cost. The time.

Let’s not make it harder by turning on each other. It isn’t all or nothing here, folks.

And that is exactly why I like to focus on taking baby-steps towards natural living here at Simply Rebekah. We all have things in life that we do well and we all have areas that need improvement.

For me, I have always used natural bath products on my kids, but they both wore disposable diapers.

I only purchased organic baby food or I made my own, but we don’t drink raw milk, kefir, or kombucha.

I avoid fabric softener, use wool dryer balls, and line dry my clothes in good weather, but sometimes I use Tide detergent.

I could go on and on with the examples. It is okay not to excel in every single area. It truly is okay that my efforts are not 100% perfect. At least I am making some efforts!

It is time to confess. What are some areas in your life that could use some help? How can I help you take baby-steps towards a more natural lifestyle?

Personally, I could use some major education in the area of natural remedies. I’ve only dabbled in essential oils. Sometimes I used coconut oil for diaper rash. I have an organic tea I like to drink when I have a sore throat. And…. that is about it. I could use some help. Big time.

This past winter really kicked my butt. For a solid 6 weeks (maybe more!) at least one person in my house was sick at all times. At one point I thought for sure that I was going to be cleaning up vomit for the rest of my life.

Parent's Guide to Natural Remedies

I want to prepare myself to handle all of that craziness better. To do that, I am going to take the online class A Parent’s Guide to Natural Remedies, which covers how to naturally help little ones with:

  • A Fever
  • A Common cold
  • Cough and congestion
  • Winter health
  • Tummy bugs
  • Infant reflux
  • Ear aches
  • Skin rashes
  • Constipation
  • First Aid
  • Sleep issues
  • and more….

Classes cover 14 topics! Each topic is delivered via a video recording that can be downloaded and listened to on the go. A PDF with the slides for each webinar is also available for making a quick reference when your child is in need.

UPDATE (Nov. 2015): Does that sound like a class you could use? The course is normally $99, but for 2 days only it is part of the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle for just $29.97! You know me, I love passing along a good frugal find!

The Parent’s Guide to Natural Remedies is among 80+ eResources (not counting bonuses!) in this year’s Ultimate Homemaking Bundle!

The collection is only available until Tuesday, November 3 at 11:59 PM EST, and it is only $29.97 (a $913 value!)

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I am sharing this online course with you because I don’t think I am alone in my need for help in this area. I am looking forward to digging into the class myself and taking a couple more natural living babysteps. I am an affiliate for Ultimate Bundles and I will earn a commission if you decide to take the class. That is a huge help to my family and I thank you for it.

Ultimate Homemaking Bundle

Let’s put our stones away and celebrate taking baby-steps!

 

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. Top image credit: Emily McClements

87 Comments

  1. I’ve had issues with comments rubbing someone the wrong way, and it’s come from the natural community. For being a group that gets so much crap from the conventional-ists in our lives, seeking solace in community with other like minded people – it is beyond me why we would give each other the same crap for variations in our styles.

    I honestly struggle with cleaning and organizing in general, but I would love to find natural cleaning options that really work. Of the few I’ve found and tried, none have really done the job well.

    1. Amanda, what a good point! We do get a lot of negativity from conventional-ists AND from within. What is wrong with us? haha!

      As far as the natural cleaning, have you looked into Shaklee? I use their Basic H2 all purpose cleaner. All you have to do is add water, which is wonderful for “lazy” natural folks.

    2. Rebecca, I’m so sorry you had to deal with all of that! Sometimes I find people who are making positive changes become rather “holier than thou,” and I’m sad to sad I have too, though im pretty sure I’ve never been mean about it. But some do hide behind the screen, just like bullies.
      Amanda, I have had the same experience, but BioKleen dishwasher detergent was a game changer for me, then I tried the laundry soap, as my daughter was getting rashes with 7th Gen. It was greAt! So I’ve added their multipurpose cleaner and especially there hard surface floor cleaner to my cabinet, and have been really happy with them. The are at natural food stores, Amazon, and Soap.com.

    3. If you want cheap and fairly non-toxic, may I suggest my trinity of cleaning products? Baking soda, white vinegar (diluted), and castile soap (I buy lavender cuz I like the smell). Baking soda gently scrubs and deodorizes; vinegar disinfects like crazy and has loads of other uses; castile soap will cut grease (you can also use dish soap). I don’t use them all at the same time. 🙂

  2. You are awesome, Rebekah! I have done some super cheap things that people would throw stones at me about. We all just do the best we can and what works for our families. Keep bloggin 🙂

    1. Now you have me curious about your super cheap ways. I wonder if I could beat you in a “who is cheaper” contest? 😉

  3. I remember reading your original post on washing swim diapers and I thought it was awesome! We use cloth diapers, but I’m not going to judge someone who has decided that just won’t work for their family. The biggest thing I like to tell people (about any “crunchy” or “natural” family decisions) is to do your own research, get the facts, and decide for yourself. It upsets me that people on Facebook often don’t seem to understand that there is a person behind the blog, and 4,000 likes won’t protect someone from feeling hurt by some of these comments! Thanks for your honesty and all that you do to be real in the natural mommy-blogging world 🙂

    1. “4,000 likes won’t protect someone from feeling hurt” – That is the TRUTH right there! Can you just imagine the what it is like for celebrities? I wasn’t too hurt by the comments, but man… I would need to toughen up if I became famous!

      Thank you for your encouragement.

      1. I personally loved your post. I sewed and used cloth diapers. But my daughters would never! And that’s fine.
        Don’t try so hard to impress the ones that stab you in the back! I love to be frugal also. It allowed me to stay home a raise four kids. Stay true to your values and forget the haters!

  4. Please try not to take it too personally. Mean people are everywhere. I found it interesting to know that swim diapers could be laundered. good to know if I ever am in a situation where that is my best option. cloth diapers are good for home, but when going out or visiting the family, disposable diapers are a good choice. and (this is a tip from my friend the recycling nazi) if you compost, you can have a seperate pile for the compostable diapers and feel good about making your flowers look extra pretty next year (never use human waste on food bearing plants). the trouble with this is that we dont all have the time or money to do things the way we should. thats ok. And I use tide myself occasionally because sometimes I don’t feel like lugging a 5 pound bucket of hot soap from my kitchen to the garage. We do whats best for us and our familys. If you have helped one person save a little money so she can provide a better life for her children then you should consider your post a success.

    1. Thank you so much for your support, Denise. I think I managed pretty well not to take all the bad comments personally, but it really did make me stop and think about how we treat each other. Thank you for taking the time to encourage me.

  5. If only we could be supportive of each other instead of always judging. I liked the idea. I am a cloth diaper Mom and a swim cloth diaper mom, but sometimes our swim cloth wasn’t clean, so I had disposable swims on hand. I used your idea and put them in the wash and it made me feel better about using them. I also shared the idea with my non cloth diaper friends. It was new to them, but non of them ever turned their nose up at the idea. Keep on keeping on blog Mom. I am a happy follower!!

  6. Hi Rebekah! I am always taking baby steps too toward natural living. I remember reading your original post and thought that it was a good idea. Especially for those times when they only have them on for a half hour and haven’t even gone pee! No reason to throw them out out I don’t want to put them back on soaked in chlorine. Thanks!

  7. and this is a bit of everything that is right in our world! authenticity! integrity! compassion! thank you for you! NAILED IT. love!

  8. Such a great post, Rebekah, and all too true. So often it can be all-or-nothing. I remember lamenting this to another mom, and saying that essentially, my c-section nullifies me from being considered a “natural” mom. It doesn’t matter how many years I breastfeed the same kid or how diligently I care for those cloth diapers–it felt like that one issue would completely exclude me from all things “natural” and crunchy. And it’s especially true in the blogging world where you MUST have a niche or die. My friend’s response? Maybe most moms are just like you–a mix of natural and conventional. And that’s essentially where I’ve fallen over the years. Motherhood is so much more enjoyable when we can simply do the best for our family and not worry about people pleasing.

    1. Oh Gabby, you’ve got me tearing up over here. It was so hard for me, a natural lovin’ mama, to have a c-section. I have a feeling that we could sit and talk about this over coffee for a long time. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave your comment.

        1. What a small world blogging can be! I had no idea you were the author of that post! I am seriously ticked off at the backlash the post has received. I am jealous of the mothers who are confident with their c-sections and have no icky feelings about them. I wish I could feel the same way! But I don’t. I needed to read your post. I need to read it again and again. Your post might have offended some, but it simply wasn’t meant for them. It was written for me and I thank you for it.

          1. I was in the same boat with my (emergency) c-section. It is rough to get flack for making a choice that otherwise may have meant death for one’s baby.
            We did what we had to do. We had the courage to get CUT OPEN for our babies. This courage is to be celebrated, not shamed.
            I used to be concerned about being Miss 100% Natural Perfect, but then realized it was more about my ego than anything. So I continue to babywear, breastfeed, etc. quietly and no longer associate with the term “crunchy”.
            The majority of crunchy women are white, middle-class, with access to decent healthcare. What would happen if they were dropped into the middle of a West African country where infant mortality rates are sky high and prenatal medical care is nonexistent? They’d gain some perspective and perhaps change their tune real quick.

            1. I simply can’t comprehend why someone would give you a hard time for an emergency c-section. Sometimes people just don’t think before they speak.

              1. Thought you might like to know I think of this post every time I pull a swim diap off my kid and analyze about whether I should wash it or not. 🙂

  9. You go, mama! I have six kids and have those same struggles. Want to be more natural but sometimes time demands convience. We do the best we can. By the way, I have always washed disposable swim diapers! 😉 My oldest is 11!!!

    1. *whispering* Sometimes I throw away moldy food from the fridge without cleaning out the recyclable container. Sometimes time demands convenience indeed!

  10. Living green, or frugal, or any other way is not an all-or-nothing prospect. Each of us has individual preferences and desires, as well as lines we are not personally willing to cross. We each must decide what works for us and what is best for our own families. We each pick and choose the ways in which we will modify our lives. There is nothing wrong with that, and we would do well to remember that not everyone shares our convictions/preferences/desires/etc. Please let’s not throw stones at one another because of disagreement in preference. The world could use a lot less stone-throwers and a lot more grace-extenders. Let us be the grace-extenders that this world so desperately needs. Just my $0.02.

  11. Hi, Rebekah! I love this post! It’s always nice to see people reflect on things like this, because it’s definitely not easy to go back to something that was hurtful and turn it into a desire to improve yourself. And I love your passion for baby steps- even if all you ever do is baby steps (in reference to a more natural life), at least you’re doing something. People can really be motivation-killers sometimes, it’s so uplifting to see others turn it around like you just did! Keep it up!

    1. Yes! Yes! Yes!!!!! Many times I have had my natural-living motivations killed by over enthusiastic crunchy folks.

  12. I remember reading the post about washing swim diapers! I thought it was smart, I just didnt comment my support. Sorry! I have washed a few sice then too:)

    My family calls me a “hippie” (with total disgust) because of my baby steps into the natural living world.

    We love you:)

    1. There is no need to apologize about not commenting before. Although there were lots of negative comments, there were those who stood up for me also. Keep on rockin’, hippie! 😉

  13. You are kind, you are smart ,and you are important. Please do not let the ones who are quick to judge get you down. It was a tip, that’s all, take it or leave it, unfortunately they left their negative on your door step. Kudos to you for finding the good and pressing forward.

  14. This is a really lovely post. God bless you, everyone has their own way of doing things and like anything, not everything is going to suit everyone’s situation xxoo

  15. LOVE your heart, Rebekah! And I completely agree with taking baby steps. There are so many areas in my life that I have yet to become that perfect in and even thought I wear the badge of all-natural real foodie, it’s taken me years to finally take the leap into essential oils. But I wasn’t ready to dive in, until last year, and that’s okay. By taking those baby steps, we avoid becoming overwhelmed and giving up in frustration. I

    So instead of throwing stones, we need to be throwing one another life-preserves. It’s hard chartering the waters of a healthier lifestyle – I love your heart to remind us to let’s build each other up! xoxo

  16. It is tiring being judged by others. I found myself reading this post and thinking “yes”. I do my best too. I had natural births, I buy organic almost always, I use cloth diapers except when I am in the middles of a move (like now), I conserve, recycle, reuse, renew etc. I am also frugal. Guess what? I wash disposable swim diapers too. Thank you for encouraging me!

  17. HUGS HUGS HUGS…I’m also new to the natural way of living…I do sell oils, however I have also shared an article on one woman’s allergic reaction to the oils she’s used for a long time…Am I gonna stop using oils, NOPE…But I am going to be doing more research…(My eldest daughter became allergic to honey at 18…We’ve used honey all her life, as well as my other 5 daughter’s lives..Am I gonna stop using honey, nope..Just gonna be careful when she’s around) I am also guilty of washing out swim diapers when my youngest was a little one…So to me it’s no grosser than me using my DivaCup…I’m sorry some in the community were awful to you..But sometimes people just don’t know when to keep their mouths shut…..More HUGS…

    1. I don’t think the commenters ever expected that the author would be reading their comments. If they did, perhaps they might have kept their mouths shut. 😉

  18. I’m a crossbreed one might say. I had a hospital birth (with an epidural! Gasp!) 🙂 and I use disposable diapers (loved your swimmy diaper tip..btw. It kept me from having to buy a new pack last summer). I recycle and am learning about essential oils but I don’t buy organic. See…I’m a crossbreed! :). I commend you for even writing your blog and opening yourself up to the world. Thank you for sharing the things you are learning along the way. As parents we are just doing the best we can…and hopefully learning as much as we can to do the best we can. Thanks!

  19. Thank you, Rebekah!! I am one of those who has and is taking baby steps to natural living. I see the judgement in myself sometimes, and I DON’T want to be the one throwing stones. But I also don’t do everything natural as I could, I could only wear about half of the “natural badges,” but I’m thankful we all don’t need to do it all well. I agree, let’s remember that every family is different and we can all learn from each other as we seek to do what we believe is best.

  20. It seems like the meanest people you meet are atheists and “natural living experts” Heck, I’m not the godliest of people and I can’t admit to doing half the stuff I should to even live healthy but I can’t really AFFORD to. Not everyone is living off their parents and can drive down to the farmer’s market in their Prius twice a week (after a trip to Star Bucks of course) Not everyone can afford to stay home long enough to breastfeed over 1 year, let alone the maternity leave. Some people HAVE to have hospital births for medical reasons while others can’t have 5 or 6 children (for some reason people associate that with natural living)

    Jeeze people (ladies mostly) lay off. Have a little compassion and think before you post. If you’re going to preach about “natural living”, do it in an earnest, educational manner, not some self righteous way to seem better than the person next to you. Ok that’s my soap box, great article!

    1. You are certainly right that there can be some financial expenses from living a natural life. I certainly don’t buy all the wonderful organic stuff I wish I could!

  21. I am a half and half. I don’t eat All organic stuff, my family eats nasty fast food sometimes. But my husband loves nasty McDonald’s. I am not going to sacrifice my families happiness because I won’t let my husband eat a cheeseburger.

    Also I switched to cloth diapers. It was fine for a while. Then my daughter started screaming when I changed her. She hated the cloth. And I recently put her in disposables again. But the disposables are compost able, no die, no perfume, nothing. And i knew it what was best for my baby. But I was terrified of all the natural people I assocaite with would think of me.

    When did pleasing people become more important then taking care of your family/ giving them what they want/need? NEVER!

    In the end, you have to do what is best for you and your family. No one else should put you down because you chose differently.

    Ps. I make my own household cleaner and I LOOOOOOVE it. I’m a natural parent in my eyes, my families eyes, and that’s all that matters.

  22. Respectfully, I think you’re overreacting. If you make your living from blogging and providing advice, you’re going to have some misses now and again. It’s no different than working in an office environment and making a mistake in front of your team. It’s embarrassing and it stinks. You’re just in a bigger, more public arena, so the ‘team’ is a lot larger and the fall feels harder. Yes, people probably should have been less cavalier and more polite. (The reality is that people should be less cavalier and more polite in most situations.)
    Have you seen the movie ‘Office Space?’ You’ll know that this type of crazy behavior within the social media/blogging world is equivalent to the craziness in a more traditional office environment. Hopefully, offering this analogy will give you some healthy perspective and help you shrug it off. Or, as Taylor Swift would say, ‘Shake It Off.’
    P.S. For the record, I’m not a fan of the idea of reusing a swim diaper but who cares what I think. To each their own.

  23. I love this post and the idea about the swimming diapers! It tells me that you are human and that you think for yourself. People can be so nasty especially online. If I applied for membership to the “crunchy mama, natural living club”, I’d be laughed out of town and then I’d start my own “doin’ it the best you can” club. When I read over those comments it made me think of high school where you have the “popular” crowd and then the “uncool” crowd who was never good enough because they didn’t have the right clothing. My son was not only born C-section but I was a smoker (I’ve been smoke free now for 7 yrs.), he drank soy milk, was vaccinated, and ate non-organic jarred baby foods. I didn’t change the way we lived until I was sick and he was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. If I had known then what I know now . . . boy, things would’ve definitely been different. But, there’s nothing you can do about it. There were many times where we only had a couple of diapers and several days until I could purchase more. With no way to buy more diapers, a tip like this sure would’ve been helpful in stretching what I had. Some may think that’s gross but, maybe they’ve just had it too good. Guess what, even moms who don’t have much, want the best for their child/children and little tips like this can help us get a little closer to doing that. Thank you Rebekah, for keepin’ real 😉

  24. I must be super frugal too Rebekah! I never actually washed my kids swim nappies, but I would sun dry them and recycle them until they either fell apart or became contaminated. I probably should have washed them, they may have lasted longer!!

  25. Good for you! I have felt the same way when some women find out I had 4.. yes 4.. c-sections. Like I am less of a woman then them, or worse.. more of a wimp. I have reasons, none of which are anyones business, but I always feel I have to defend the decision.. “my first was breech and wouldn’t turn, my second was a failed v-bac even though I went 10 days past my due date…. etc, etc” People need to worry about themselves, do what is right for their family and stop judging others. I also see it in the homeschool vs. public school vs. private school wars. My kids have done all three! Let it go people. God calls us to be good stewards of our own life and the little people He has given us. Excited for you, thanks for sharing this.

  26. All natural or not, too many women in general and moms in particular seem to have no idea how to ‘live and let live’. So what if someone does something differently then you?! Why do people have to be so vocal and mean about their different opinions?!

    1. I think that is what the internet has done to us. We all are more free to express ourselves from behind a screen.

  27. I total agree with you! In the natural community it is all or nothing! For me in life it is about finding a balance that works for you and your family! I used both cloth and disposable diapers! It didn’t matter what I did my daughter at night would pee through cloth. Sorry I’m not going to let my child sleep in pee and change sheets everyday so we used overnight disposable diapers! I already bought the bundle am looking forward to doing this series too! I would love to learn more about natural products for hygiene and make up personally and start switching out my own products! I do some already 🙂 Thanks for sharing!

  28. Hi, my name is Maria, and according to many people in most communities, I “fail” at being a Mom. Why? Hang on..let me get my list…it’s here somewhere…..ok..ready?

    1. I’m not all- natural. Heck, I’m mostly un-natural. We used disposable diapers all the way. As a (now retired) military spouse with the long hours, frequent deployments and TDY’s, it was less laundry and less stress…for everyone in the household.

    2. I’m not a baby-wearer. I believe that they need their personal bubble of body space as much as I need mine.

    3. We didn’t co-sleep. I like my sleep. I’m an ugly bear when I don’t get enough, and having a jaw kick at 3am or having a 20lb 22inch human being occupied all 4900 sq. inches of a king size bed falls under “mommy not getting enough sleep”. See also: #2.

    4. I don’t stress over organic, non-organic,GMO, non-GMO, local, non-local, gluten free, peanuts etc because I don’t HAVE too. We’re extremely blessed that non of us are allergic or even sensitive to these foods. I do my best to buy local, but if Dillon’s has 3 dozen eggs on sale for $5…I’ll catch my egg guy in a couple weeks. When I can find actual scientific, peer-reviewed studies about the topics, I try to understand them, but again…I find myself way more concerned about the way Monsanto treats local farmers than how they may be speeding up a mutation process – which may or may not have occurred naturally in the next few hundred (thousand?million?) years anyway. (Blue box M&C and ramen are frequent quick lunches in our house).

    5. I don’t helicopter parent my children. My husband and I have this philosophy we call “Competence at Living Dangerously”. I don’t sit on my front stoop and MAKE ABSOLUTELY 100% SURE THEY NEVER EVER EVER EVER leave our yard. I don’t walk my 9 year old into her school; the only reason I walk my 5 year old into his pre-school is because they require it., I AM the mom at the park, at the karate studio, who is reading her book, making her shopping list, or playing on my phone. Yes, life happens in a milli-blink of an eye, but how can my kids ever learn self-trust, and that I can trust them to make not only small decisions (hmm…should i really jump from this tree?) but eventually large ones if I’m always eagle-eyeing them.

    Now…in “communities” I have failed as a Mom.

    But I have haven’t…here’s how I KNOW this.

    My children are healthy, happy and not afraid of their own shadow.
    My children’s eyes still light up when their dad or I come into a room.
    My children give me the biggest hugs and kisses at bedtime.
    My son still yell’s “There’s my Mommy. That’s my Mommy!” when I pick him up at pre-school.
    I’m told “I LOVE YOU” in a myriad of ways every.single.day.
    My kids love a break at grandma’s or their friends – but they also love coming home where most things are filed by pile and covered in pet hair.
    My kids know that I have their back, that I will go Momma bear when needed, but they are gaining the confidence to NOT coming running to me first. Which is a little sad, but makes me oh so proud.

    Anyway – I know this long. I know I’ve never commented before, but this blog just really touched a nerve. For all that we women claim a “sisterhood”, we often tend to act more like the ugly stepsisters than Elsa and Anna…..or Sandra & Nicole in “Practical Magic” which is more my speed anyway.

    As Glennon from Momastery says “Warrior On”.
    Maria

    1. Oh…and under “un-natural”. Yeah, I totally hospitalled it with the epidural. It was awesome. I was rested, my blood pressure was controlled and my kids were born safely and in awesome health, which is all that matters anyway.

  29. R, I love that you take this experience and gently use it to remind yourself (and us) to bring more mindfulness to how we may participate in online conversations and judgment.

    Whenever I hear of stuff like this, I always remember that when people feel comfortable about where they stand and their choices, they generally don’t crap all over others. People who are happy don’t go around looking to drag other down; they look to bring others up. My guess is that those with the most vehement reactions are those that struggle with their own self-judgment for ways in which they’ve “failed.” And when they feel like they need to make sure we all know just how qualified they are….well, to me that reads like a whole lot of insecurity (I say these things from experience). I was probably the most obnoxious when I was on my least sure footing in my various identities…dyke, vegetarian, mother, etc.

    So thanks for bringing us up with you. Have the best weekend!

    1. You are so right. We never know what kind of battle someone is dealing with on the other side of the screen. And truthfully, we are all battling something, right?

  30. Good on you! A beautiful response to an unfortunately common occurrence. I detest the know it all attitude that kicks in in the so called heathy lifestyle communities. Sometimes a little knowledge can be a very dangerous thing for all of us when it makes us rude or proud. I try to remind myself often to not be a know it all or contradict someone else’s opinion, we are all at different stages and like you have explained each of us will be working on different things! Be the uplifter not the push downer!
    Lisa xo

  31. I’m so dissappointed at the backlash you faced! I LOVED that idea and found it was fantastic this past summer! You’re exactly right about the “it’s not an all or nothing thing” – someone told me that when I was contemplating cloth diapers and it took such a load off! Ended up doing cloth until my little guy potty trained! I make a point to tell people that too in regards to everything… “It’s not all or nothing” Glad you were able to get through the harsh judgments from all sides!

    1. I am not a cloth diaper user, but I can imagine that giving yourself the freedom to use disposables from time to time would be extremely freeing. Good for you for trying it, sticking with it, and finding your own balance in it all!

  32. I am sorry you had to deal with so much negativity. People should understand that what works for one family, doesn’t always work for another, and even if you don’t agree, it doesn’t do anyone any good to be hateful. THROW the stones away and have grace grace grace towards each other.

  33. I love your positive spin on such ugly comments. You’re a smart cookie and there is nothing, “stupid” about your ideas. That hurt my heart to read that word. Stupid. When my husband came to me with the idea of “clean eating” and a more “natural lifestyle”, I cringed at the thought because I knew it was a snowball effect. There’s no other way around it. It starts with your diet, then your beauty routine, lotions, deodorant, shampoo, then your cleaning supplies. Antibiotics vs homeopathic. Birth plans. Vaccines. Homeschooling. It can drive a person bonkers! (I had to throw in the homeschooling 😉 Same as the homebirths, it seems to be a badge of honor.) In the process, what are we teaching our kids? That it’s more important to use cloth diapers than it is to be kind? To be perfect, in our own eyes, means we can pass judgement on others? These standards we’ve set for ourselves as mothers have left me feeling depleted and anxiety-ridden and seeking peace that can only come from prayer and opening the Bible. I have come to realize that I would much rather bend the rules and raise my kids with the occasional play date at McDonald’s, then to waste their childhood with unrealistic standards that make their mama crazy and in turn cause them stress and anxiety. So keep on keepin’ on, Rebekah. You’re doing great. Don’t lose heart or your positive outlook 😉

  34. I am struggling too going natural in all areas but I am taking baby steps too. I am starting in personal care next is cleaning products for the house.

    1. I really like using Shaklee organic cleaning solution. It is super concentrated. You only have to buy one bottle and then add water. It lasts forever.

  35. I remember when that happened, Rebekah. It was during the time that I was working on starting my own blog and I almost didn’t because of how awful some of the comments were. All I could think was how brave you must be to be able to handle that sort of attack and how incredibly close-minded and insensitive people can be when they don’t agree. That very incident has made me think twice about writing certain posts because I am afraid of the backlash! Why? I don’t know.

    Thank you so much for sharing this. ((Hugs))

    1. Laura, I am so glad that my bad experience didn’t stop you from starting your blog! The thing about blogging is that you never know what will get people worked up. And then sometimes you write something that you expect to make people upset and it barely causes any waves. Please don’t blog in fear. Write what is on your heart. It is so worth it!

  36. Everyday we should do our best at making that day count. Living natural, organic or whatever it’s called today is still just, living. I did make my own baby food, used cloth diapers, nurtured my kids with books and music. Had them spend most hours of the day outside, being kids. It’s what I thought was best for them, that was all. No pressure from anyone. I didn’t and don’t care what anyone thought or thinks how I raised my kids.
    When stones are tossed your way, pick them up and build something with them. No matter how heavy or the number that come your way. Build something useful. For those who throw the stones, they soon will need to relocate. Eventualy they will be out of stones to throw and have nothing. They will be empty handed from judging and not building. Just live.

  37. What I want to know is do these nay sayers just throw away their child’s underwear and pants when they pee in them? I’ve just come across the idea of washing swim diapers and I think it’s awesome! Isn’t is really the same thing? You’re just washing the pee off the diaper just like you do the diaper.

    1. Liz, many of the people who think the tip is stupid are cloth diaper users who are used to washing messy diapers. They are suggesting that I use a cloth swim diaper instead.

      But anyway…. Clearly it isn’t a tip for everyone. And that is okay. 😉

  38. Thank you so much for just being real!!!! There is so much fake out there, FB makes it easy to look perfect because we only post stuff we WANT people to see. It’s not usually the ugly, messy disorganized and less than perfect stuff.

    1. P.S. It’s good to know the swim diapers can be reused, I was just wondering if this would work the other day!

    2. Oh honey, I am certainly not perfect. I hope that comes across in all my posts! I know what you mean though. Thanks for your encouragement!

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