I took a deep breath and started my journey down the hospital hallway. My nerves increased with each step I took. Was this really happening?
I made eye contact with a gentleman as he passed me in the hallway.
“How are you?” he asked with a smile.
I forced a weak smile and replied, “Fine.” In my head I was screaming, “Awful! Terrible! How can you even ask me that?”
Finally I reached the door. The purple butterfly – a warning to everyone entering. This was not a happy place. I took a deep breath and entered the room.
And there she was…. one of my best friends… holding her stillborn son.
It wasn’t suppose to be this way.
Cohen Bradly. 7 pounds and 11 ounces. Perfectly formed in every way, yet he never took a breath.
Kristen was nearly 1 week away from her due date. She went to her doctor for a routine check up and her doctor couldn’t find a heart beat. An ultra sound confirmed that her baby had died and just a few hours later Kristen delivered her precious angel.
Baby Cohen was born directly into the arms of Jesus.
What do you say to your weeping friend as she holds her stillborn baby?
It is one week later and I still don’t know what to say, but here is my attempt…
To Kristen and all mothers with empty arms,
Your baby is real! That precious life that was growing inside of you matters. You gave life to a child. The life was much shorter than we hoped for. It truly wasn’t suppose to happen this way, but…
As our pastor said so beautifully at the graveside service on Saturday, you gave your child an amazing gift – the gift of eternity in heaven. Your pregnancy, no matter how long or short, was not in vain. From the warmth and comfort of your womb, listening to your voice and heartbeat, and then straight into wonders of heaven. What a lucky life to live!
But it wasn’t suppose to be this way. Our hearts are broken. Our dreams are shattered. And for that there are no words of comfort. Your baby is truly the lucky one and we are left behind to pick up the pieces of our lives.
My promise to you, Kristen, is to never forget baby Cohen. I will cry with you. I will remember with you.
And someday I will weep tears of joy with you when I get to see Jesus place Cohen into your arms in heaven…
I love you, Cohen! You will not be forgotten.
This post has been shared with permission by Kristen. Please remember Kristen, her husband, 4 year old son, and 2 year old son in your prayers.