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6 Simple Sanity Savers for When I Feel Like I’m Going to Lose My Mind

ByRebekah Hoffer
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6 Simple Sanity Savers for When I Feel Like I'm Going to Lose My Mind

This post contains affiliate links.

I’m not handling my stress well.  I can literally feel the tension in my body.  My shoulders are sore and my jaw is tight.  At times I can feel the anxiety squeezing my chest.

Today has been one of those days.

I gathered my jewelry out of Grace’s room and sternly told both kids that playing in my jewelry box was a big no-no.  Noah dumped his breakfast out of the bowl and all over his tray.  He does this at every. single. meal.  Toys were fought over.  I found a piece of chewed up bacon in the play kitchen.  Noah was wrestled to the ground so I could put his clothes on him.

And all of that was before we went to the grocery store.  Then…

Crying.  Climbing out of the cart.  Sitting on the bananas.  Mom, I’m hot!  Mom, I want to go home! Mommmmy!  Trips back and forth from the car to the house carrying the groceries.  Noah fell.  Noah escaped and ran out front by the busy road.  Noah fell again.  Grace whined.  I yelled.

Finally I shoved the kids into the house and told them to stay there while I got the last of the groceries.  When I came in they were in the fridge, stuffing pepperoni into their mouths, and spilling it all over the fridge.

a desperate text message

I locked myself in the bathroom, cried, and sent Nate those last two text messages.  I was desperate.  I am desperate.  Nothing terrible happened today, yet it was one of my worst days.  It is amazing how that happens sometimes.

Everything feels hard these days.  Making breakfast.  Getting the kids dressed.  Laundry. Cleaning the house.  Making supper.  Getting out the door.  There is a melt down and catastrophe around every corner.  The simplest tasks seem difficult these days.  There are some parts of early motherhood that I will not miss.

blocks in the toaster

So how do I cope?  First of all, I’m forever thankful that I have God and Nate on my side.  Obviously, they are my biggest life lines.

Secondly, I really do enjoy my children.  Grace and Noah, when you read this someday you might not get it.  You might think I was miserable.  I’m not really.  Parenthood is just hard.  It is hard, but worth it.  You are worth it.  I love you when you’re good and I love you when you’re naughty.  I love you always.

Lastly, I have some simple pleasures that get me through the day.  You might call them guilty pleasures, but I don’t feel guilty.  So just for fun, I want to celebrate my simple sanity savers with you today.

i heart oreos

6 Simple Sanity Savers

1) Oreos – I admire those who eat a “real food” diet.  I have been cutting back on processed food in my house, but Oreos will always be welcome in my pantry.  Always!

2) Reality TV – My favorite show of all time is Big Brother.  It is a ridiculous show of drama, competitions, voting, and back stabbing.   I can’t get enough.  A close second is The Bachelor.  I am loving this season with Juan Pablo.  I’m hoping Andi is around for the long haul.  The Bachelor is on tonight and I can hardly wait.  (Feel free to chat me with on Facebook or Twitter about these mindless TV shows.  I always have lots to say!)

3) YouTube – I don’t know how this happened, but I’ve been sucked into the world of YouTube.  I subscribe to several channels.  Some of them might seem normal, like Mama Natural and Convos With My 2 Year Old.  Others fill my need for superficial pop culture.  Then there is a collection that I’m too embarrassed to admit that I watch.  I’m pretty sure they are most popular among 16 year olds and I am not their target audience.  Let’s just say, if you know about shipping, collab videos, and the boyfriend tag, then you might be on my same wave length.

4) Voxer – This is a smartphone walkie-talkie app.  I love it.  I chat with my friend across the world.  I chat with blogging friends across the country.  I chat with other stay-at-home moms across town.  I don’t feel so alone when I can pop on voxer from time to time and connect with a fellow mom.

5) Podcasts – Are you listening to podcasts yet?  You should be.  They rock.  I listen to them to pass the time while I’m cooking supper, driving, or cleaning.  They are a nice substitute for stimulating adult conversation while I’m in this stage of life.  Here are 4 of my favorite podcasts.  Since writing that post, I’ve also started listening to How They Blog, Smart Passive Income, and The Longest Shortest Time.  Look them up!  I’m even tempted to start my own podcast some day.

6) Coffee – I’ve always enjoyed coffee, but I never drank it on a daily basis until after Noah was born.  That warm mug of sweet, creamy, heaven every morning is good for the soul.  In the summer I enjoyed these.  Feel free to send them to me by the case full along with the Oreos.  *wink-wink*

taking a mental break

Nate honored my request and came home for lunch today.  He was amazing.  I collapsed in the living room and he cleaned up the kitchen and dining room, ran the dishwasher, and tucked Grace in her nap.  He was such a blessing.

So now that my house is clean, my children have rested, and I had some alone time, I feel so much better.  The 6 things I listed above do make me smile and relax throughout the day, but on a more serious note, I need to remember that these things are truly what helps:

  • prayer & worship
  • talk to my husband
  • drink a glass of water
  • get more sleep
  • cuddle the kids
  • get some fresh air
  • be thankful for little things
  • remember I’m not the only one that feels this way at times (which is why I’m sharing this post with you!)

Tomorrow is a new day.  It will be filled with new challenges and new joys.  And I thank the Lord for it!

What are your sanity savers?  How do you get through days when you feel like you are losing your mind?

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links.  Thank you for supporting Simply Rebekah!

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42 Comments

  1. I totally understand and have sent many SOS messages to my husband. He can’t just come home for lunch because he has a 45 minute commute. But he has gotten a few ” you will be lucky to have children when you get home” texts.
    I have Oreos, a nice stash of Klondike ice cream vanilla classic sandwiches, my mom who lives 30 minutes away and is almost always up for a visit here or at her house, a very supportive group of neighborhood friends, and friends who understand what I am going through.

    Reply

    1. Sharon, I was sooooooo lucky that Nate was able to come home that day. Man. A good support system is the KEY to making it through the journey of parenthood!

      Reply

  2. I have many days like this. Today was that kind of day. Kirk is the latest casualty to strep throat in our house. The baby has yet to get it (knock on wood) so I quarantined Kirk. This meant everything was all me today from sun up to sun down… the meals, cleaning up, kids, homeschooling, the chickens, dinner, bed time, medicines. It was an adventure. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my many years being a mom, it’s walk away.

    If you get to a point that you’re stressed beyond belief secure the children (little ones in a crib or play yard and big ones on tasks in bedrooms) and walk away. Go to your room, to the kitchen, to the bathroom and take a few moments to regroup. Then get back in there a bit fresher than before. It helps me.

    Reply

    1. Thanks for calling me the other day to vent about your own bad day. Venting helps us all feel like we aren’t alone.

      I’m still waiting to see how the floor turned out!

      Reply

      1. It’s really a tale of 2 floors. The kitchen floor (which my boy was forced to clean) turned out great. The bathroom floor still smells like a latrine when the room gets humid. It’s been cleaned with bleach… twice.

        Reply

  3. I remember those days, and I don’t miss them…but even now that my girls are older (11 & 8) we still have a day like that once in a while! My sanity savers are playing on the computer after the girls and hubby go to bed, and my guilty pleasure is reading Harry Potter fan fiction stories online!! (I’ll admit, I’m addicted to the world of HP, and yes, I’m 42.) I also keep a stash of dark chocolate hidden from my youngest, since she likes it too, and I guard my stash of frozen G.S. Thin Mints almost like I would jewels! Hang in there!! 🙂

    Reply

    1. I love that you read Harry Potter fan fiction! I first heard about fan fiction from YouTube. You can really find anything online! Haha!

      Enjoy your thin mints!

      Reply

  5. It’s not Oreos! but any form of chocolate is good for me!! And John when he wakes up. I tend to run away and hide when he is awake with them. I am a fan of separating the kids. They each go to their room for a short time-up to a half hour-and we all get a break from each other. They don’t have tons of toys in there-actually just books and Dason has a block-train. They bring in a toy from the living room and that is it. We all get a much needed break and then back to reality. And chocolate.

    Reply

  6. Oh my goodness – I’m a stay at home, homeschooling mom of 7 and this article could not have come at a better time! I know exactly what you’re talking about. Thank you so much for sharing not only the good moments, but also the bad & the ugly. I admire your transparency and realness. It is such a comfort, somehow, to know other moms go through the same things.

    Reply

    1. Thank YOU for commenting! All of the wonderful comments I’ve received has been very comforting.

      Best of luck to you with your full house and full heart.

      Reply

  7. That was my exact day yesterday and I felt like such a failure as a mom and child of God. It seems like I just can’t stay calm when everything falls a part and I feel like I’m doing something wrong that my children will not listen. Then my sane side wakes up and I tell myself they are 2 and 4!

    Reply

  8. I understand, as I’m sure any mom does. It is difficult, there is no avoiding that part of being a mom. My husband just returned from an 11 month long deployment, and I have for children ages 14, 5, 2, and almost one, although he was 3 weeks when my husband left. I didn’t know how I was going to make it through, but I did. Oftentimes I would close myself in my bedroom for a few minutes to become calm again, eat chocolate, have my coffee, let certain things slide. This last one was a biggy. If it wasn’t something monumental, or that would cause hurt, like a snack that was sneaked before dinner, and I didn’t feel like I could tackle taking it away, I would pretend I didn’t see and ignore it. I knew I would handle it at a different time, like the next time it happened and I had my sanity back (my husband

    Reply

    1. Amanda, I can’t even imagine what those 11 months must have been like. Solo parenting… Worrying about your husband… Missing your best friend… Wow, girl. If you can get through that, I suppose I can get through a couple hours. Thanks for sharing your story!

      Reply

  9. My husband and I IM Skype all day long and there’s been numerous occasions where I’ve vented out my terrible day. Life with littles is so hard. Being the one to train these souls to become good human beings AND being a good example for them is very hard some days. I relate to all 6 of your sanity savers :D.

    Reply

  11. I need to go buy some oreos now, maybe I can drown my sorrows in a big glass of milk ;). I have had several weeks lately like the day you just described, and I thought it was only me. I have two girls who are almost 2 and 5. The 2 year old is not so bad (just sensitive and cries when I leave the room most of the time), the 5 year old is the one who is just out of control these days. She is soooo destructive, argumentative, and just deliberately disobedient. I am at my whit’s end with her, I haven’t found any mode of discipline yet that seems to bother her much. I do enjoy coffee, podcasts, youtube and reality tv. 🙂 They are a brief escape.

    Reply

  12. Sorry to be “that girl” that comments on a blog posts two months after it was posted but I am just now finding your blog. I have days like this, weeks even, and I only have one at the moment! She’s two….a very trying two. So much better now that the snow has finally melted and we can get outside most days. It’s just so nice to hear another mom admit how hard those days are. I think one of the worst things you can tell a weary mom on days like those is “Enjoy them. They grow so fast.” Yes, the grow fast and will miss having littles, but I’m not going to enjoy peanut butter in the sofa, thanks. 🙂

    Reply

    1. Julie, you can be “that girl” on my blog any day of the week! I love getting comments on my older posts!

      You are so right about the advice from older moms. It can be so discouraging to tell a young mom to embrace/love every moment. There simply are moments that you want to forget! Peanut butter in the couch would definitely fall under that category. 🙂

      Reply

  13. This was me last Friday! Nothing horrible happened, the kids have definitely been worse, but I was just tired and over it. Thanks for sharing your sanity savers! Mine are Netflix, Facebook, iced tea, and during the summer I love laying out in the sun when I can get the kids to nap at the same time/long enough.

    Reply

  14. I like you so much, I’ve been listening to SortaAwesome and I love how you own your Oreos and Big Brother.

    We just moved, again, for the third year in a row, in addition to it being summer and everyone being home all the time (kids, 6, 4, 8 months)

    My sanity savers have been HGTV and the Mindy Project, La Croix by the boatload, Picking fresh fruit with the kids, captivating novels and sparkly pens. AND PODCASTS YES! I LOVE them… I am all in with Podcasts forever.

    I was actually about to write a similar post to this… lol.

    Reply

  15. I Don’t know what I’m actually doing here but still, I’m a 11 years old girl feel like slowly losing her sanity…. my mom and dad are busy at work while my brother are in college… my mom sent me to daycare every weekday for 12 hours and when the weekend comes my parents are visiting my brother for about 6 hours for the two days…. My parents continue her work of course but I do nothing at all… there’s no internet there I just basically stare at the ceiling for almost 24/7 at school I was being bullied by my ex-bestfriend… I’m alone at my daycare house because my school time is different than all of the other kids are..My relatives keep making fun of me because of it.

    Reply

    1. I hear your struggle, Elina. Can you show this comment to your mom, and ask if you can talk together about how you’re feeling? Share your honest thoughts. Good luck!

      Reply

  16. I feel this exact same way right now. Except I am a single 34 year old mom to a 2 year old girl who’s father has no involvement. Sometimes it’s weeks before I get an hour to Myself. Even to go grocery shop by myself and have time to actually look at what I’m buying. My daughter is my greatest blessing and even if I knew that I would be dealing with all this stress I wouldn’t change it for anything. I am just extremely overwhelmed. She is a good girl but the lack of time for Myself just makes being a patient mom so hard some days. I feel drained. I feel like all my good friends who don’t have kids forgot about me. All my family lives overseas. I am usually a happy positive person full of faith but lately I feel like I have no hope. And then I feel like a terrible mom because I don’t have the amount of patience I wish I did. I am able to be home 5 days a week with my daughter. And my mom watches her on the weekend when I work. My work is my only “me time”. I just want to be a happy mom who can manage all this. I don’t want to look back on this time and think I should’ve enjoyed this time more. I know my daughter will grow up one day and I will miss this time so I want to make most of it. So I feel even guilty for feeling so stressed out about this right now. It’s just really hard to be a single mom. I feel so drained some days that I barely can muster the words to pray.

    Reply

    1. Victoria, I am so sorry. I have such respect for single mothers. I can’t even imagine the amount of stress you are under. I hope that you are able to find some moments for rest in the upcoming weeks.

      Reply
  17. Pingback: 12 Ways to Make Your Day Better When You're Feeling Down - Live Renewed

  18. Sooo…how has it been since this post? I feel like I’m losing my mind each day with my 1 year old daughter. I have to pray through her crying.

    I’m trying to not be bitter, I really am….I feel like no one, not even my own kin prepared me for what being an early childhood parent is like….I have ZERO energy, no zest for life, I don’t know who I am anymore because I’ve given up every single thing I enjoy besides eating and taking a shower if I have time.

    I feel like being a parent has taught me more about the power of what happened on the cross and the sacrifice that as made.

    I feel like screaming my head off every single day and sometimes it’s hard to explain that to my husband.

    The best sanity saver is an iced coffee and 20 minutes nap on the couch! I would say also a clean house but that hasn’t happened for over a year

    Reply

    1. Kristen, I am so sorry for my delayed response. You left this comment not too long after my third baby was born. I’m afraid it got lost in the newborn craziness.

      Things have gotten better, but it isn’t always easy. Right now I have a 7 year old, 5 year old, and 3 month old baby. The moments when I feel like I am going to lose my mind still happen, but it really does feel like it happens less. I don’t know if the difference is in my kids getting older or if the difference is in me handling things better.

      Now don’t get me wrong. There are still really hard days. Recently my husband picked up one of my kids and took them to work with him to give me a break. I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it through that day without a break!

      Yet, these moments are usually just moments. They aren’t my every day.

      Your little one is just a year old? I remember having an extra hard time right before my kids became virble. It seemed like they were always screaming at me. I think it can be really difficult for kids when they know they want to communicate, but they physically can’t yet.

      Another thing to consider… Could you be battling postpartum depression? Please don’t hesitate to talk to your OB about how you are feeling. It is possible that you could be dealing with something bigger than just a crying little one.

      I truly hope the best for you, Kristen.

      Reply

  19. I am a 74 yr old widow w/ 2 great grandkids 24/7. Talk about stress I thought I was out of this phase of my life. I have days I feel I am not going to make it. 2 ,3,yr olds are sooo active and into everything. I sometimes wonder how they find new things to get into everyday.

    Stop and no ! do not deter them and I find myself getting angry at the poor little ones. It is hard not to have support or someone to tagteam me on occasion. I finally have a sitter 3 hrs a week and it is helpful.

    I sleep when they do, pay bills and read when they watch a video . They are up by 5:30 and in bed by 7:00 Not much of a life.

    The running and wrestling are constant. They are into the frig and the cupboards constantly . I find food hidden under blankets and the bed. Whole bottles of ketchup , flour , cocoa ect.strewn on the carpet . God forbid I take a bath while they are awake.

    Phone calls to friends help me a lot. But I must say I hate it when they bring up the boys. I just want a normal conversation

    No oreos for me They just finished the last of them Maybe a nice cup of tea.

    Reply

    1. Jo, I am so sorry. That does sound like a lot to handle. I hope you can find more moments of peace throughout your day, and perhaps find more support to help watch the children. Best of luck to you!

      Reply

    1. Jesse, it sounds like you are going through a really hard time right now. I’m sorry. I truly hope things start getting easier soon.

      Reply

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