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To The Heartbroken This Christmas

The rest of the world is smiling, shopping, singing, and full of great cheer. Yet you are parentless, childless, jobless, or fighting a disease that refuses to die. It is Christmas and you are heartbroken.

It feels like for every snowflake that falls, you shed a tear.

Your heart is broken. Your spirit is crushed. And the weight of the world is practically pressing you down to your knees.

And yet it is Christmas.

The rest of the world is smiling, shopping, singing, and full of great cheer.

Yet you are parentless, childless, jobless, or fighting a disease that refuses to die.

It is Christmas and you are heartbroken.

Your “to do” list continues just like everyone else. Shopping needs to be done. Presents need to be wrapped. Christmas cards are arriving, and you don’t have the mental energy to get off the couch, so how in the world can you even think about addressing your own cards?

It is Christmas and you aren’t just heartbroken. You are flat out broken.

The world is celebrating God’s greatest gift to us, and your own prayers don’t seem to be heard.

But God will only give you what you can handle, right? Isn’t that what all the Christians say? And God has a plan. Everything happens for a reason.

Are you really suppose to be able to handle the death of your spouse? Did God really plan for you to lose your baby? Is there a good reason for the cancer or the bill collectors or your marriage falling apart or your tragic accident?

I don’t think so.

I believe that you will receive more than you can handle, but that God will take over from there. He does have a plan, but we live in a broken world. And while we can learn and grown from our sorrows, sorrow isn’t what God wants for you.

I choose to believe that while you are heartbroken at Christmas, God is crying along with you.

And that is why we have Christmas.

to the heartbroken this christmas x

God sent His son to earth to shatter the tears, the sorrow, and the heartbreak. He had a plan to erase the hurt of the world when He allowed His son to die.

And because of Jesus’s birth and his death, we may suffer on earth, but we will rejoice together in heaven.

But right now, in this moment it is Christmas. And you are heartbroken. The sadness refuses to leave.

So how do you cope?


God is listening, even when it seems like He is gone. Thank him. Start with something small. Praising Him through our tears is one of the greatest gifts we can give.

Make a list.

Start with list of no’s. Say no to the Christmas cards you don’t have time to send. Say no to the Christmas party you don’t really want to attend. Say no to it all if you have to.

Then make your list of yes’s. Yes to getting out of bed. Yes to hugging your kids. Yes to what makes you smile.

And breathe.

Yep. Just breathe.

Breathe deep and know that you are not the only heartbroken person struggling through Christmas.

Breathe deep and know that some lady who shares her thoughts online for the world to read is thinking of you and your sorrow even though she doesn’t know your story.

Breathe deep and know that God’s love for you is more than you can possibly fathom – even when He feels so very far away.

Update: In December 2016, I recorded a Sorta Awesome podcast episode on grief with Megan Tietz. Megan and I discuss our various experiences with grief (miscarriage, divorce, etc), how grief has affected our holidays, and ways you can support others who are experience grief. Listen to Sorta Awesome episode 80 “Offering Gentle Comfort in Times of Grief (During The Holidays and Beyond)” here.


  1. Thank you Rebekah for being in tune. Your message is an answer from God for the comfort my family and I need this Christmas.

  2. Thank you! Just diagnosed with Lymphedema a disease I never heard of but the more I learn my life is over, everything is changing, I’m scared. I’m ashamed to be thinking about me when there is so much more. My Mother-in-Love has just gotten out of the hospital, we thought we were losing her. And I need to make Christmas for my Grandson who has Asperger’s and doesn’t understand all that’s going on. I’m sorry to unload so much, I don’t really have many folks to talk to, I appreciate your prayers, Thanks! Merry Christmas

    1. Bonnie, how are you feeling several weeks after Christmas? Do you still feel like you are drowning in the chaos of life? I truly hope that things are looking brighter for you and your family.

  3. Ever since the year my parents divorced after 30+ years of marriage, I’ve held the heartache of those hurting at the holidays so close to my heart. I hear the compassion and empathy in your voice here, Rebekah. Thank you so much for your words.

  4. Thank you so very, very much .. everything is wrong for me this year and especially this Christmas and I am having so much trouble believing in my miracles or even in hope for me. I cannot begin to tell you how much I needed to read this. Thank you !!!… Bless you !!! <3

    1. You are welcome, Alicia. I hope you found the miracles and hope that you needed this Christmas. God bless.

  5. Thank you. I came here specifically because I was sitting alone in the toilet, heartbroken and sobbing my eyes out here on Boxing Day. You helped calm me down. It still hurts but was nice to read your words. Bless you

    1. I hope you were able to find moments of peace and joy this Christmas. I’m thankful that my words came to you just at the right time. God bless.

  6. Hi new to your blog! I was heartbroken this Christmas and still am. Missing my sweet boy I delivered sleeping 5 months ago. Your words are so true. Thank you.

  7. Reading this article coudn’t have come at a better time for me. This past year was filled with grief and stress and I’m still in the midst of it all. Christmas is very daunting now even though funnily enough I’m very well prepared for it practically speaking. But God does feel far away right now and I needed this reminder to pray and glorify Him and just breath no matter the hurt.

    So thank you for writing this down and God bless

    1. Heleen, I hope you were able to find moments of joy this past Christmas. Drawing closer to God during terrible times of grief and stress is hard, but I hope it is getting easier for you. God bless.

  8. 2018. I don’t know what day it is, all I know is I’ve been desperately searching for any signs of hope through my tear stained glasses for days on end. Somehow I found you. Even just seeing someone randomly reaching out into the abyss, hoping that someone just might see their hand when in need, means so much more then any words could ever convey. Thank you for being the only hand I’ve seen in a very long time. I’m still sad. But I don’t feel completely alone. All from a post from 2015. Smh, it’s amazing how little we really need from each other, just to know we’re not alone in the dark.

    1. Lisa,

      First of all, I apologize for my delayed response.

      Secondly, I am so very sorry that you are walking through a dark time. I hope that by the time this response reaches you, that you will have seen more light in your day. Thank you so very much for taking the time to leave a comment. I am incredibly thankful that my words brought you some comfort last month.


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