My Love Story: Communication {chapter 9}

 This is the story of how my crush became my husband. Each Wednesday I’m sharing another piece of the puzzle to this real life love story. Need to catch up? Here is last week’s post: Jamaica.  If you are new here you can start at the beginning with The Window.

Nate and I struggled to maintain good communication while he was doing missions in Jamaica.  We both had access to the internet, but it wasn’t like how things are today.  This was before Skype, free WiFi, and iMessaging.  Nate only had the internet at work and neither one of us had a cell phone.

During our long distance relationship, communication usually looked like this:

• I could expect a daily email Monday through Friday.
• We talked on the phone for about 20 minutes once every two weeks.
• We exchanged hand written letters every couple weeks.

Those rare phone calls were a blessing and a curse.  They never lasted long enough, never happened often enough, and they weren’t cheap!  I paid for probably 80% of our phone calls.  I would spend hours searching the internet for the best price and fantasize about Nate living in a country with a cheaper price per minute.

On occasion Nate would surprise me with a phone call.  They usually didn’t last longer than 5 minutes because he couldn’t buy phone cards larger than that.

Long distance relationships are hard.  When your heart aches for another person there is nothing you can do to cure that pain.

Last night I asked Nate if he would be willing to share some of his thoughts on our time apart while he was living in Jamaica.  

Living in Jamaica was very difficult.  I remember having a calendar hanging in my room and getting very depressed and sad when looking at it, realizing how long it would be until I would be back home.  My experience in Jamaica was tremendous and helped me grow in significant ways, but I experienced a lot of heartache and sadness that was difficult to deal with. 

When Rebekah came to visit me in December that year it was one of the best times of my life.  It was rejuvenating and refreshing.  It was wonderful to re-connect and spend quality time with each other.  We had some fun trips planned so we were able to create a lot of new memories together.

The hardest part of our long distance relationship was not having frequent and reliable communication.  I am not the best at communicating via email and that was probably the most trusted mode of communication that we had.   

 – Nate

How do you continue to grow as a couple when there is so much distance between you?

Nate and I made a habit of exchanging email questions to help us grow in our relationship.  We each took turns asking each other three questions.  Some questions were silly.  Other questions were more meaningful.  Through those questions we learned about each other’s pasts, daily life, and desires for the future.

No matter how meaningful our emails were, I still longed for distractions.  I came up with the ultimate distraction.  After my graduation I hopped on a plane, but this time I wasn’t headed for Jamaica.

Tell me your love story!  What are tips for good communication?

Read Chapter 10: He Came Home.

Top Image by Amanda Faye Photography