Before the pandemic, quarantine, masks, and the stress of “new normal,” I was standing in church and singing a song that was always hard for me to sing.
It was hard to sing because the words were hard to believe.
The song was King of My Heart by Bethel Music.
It starts out easy enough.
Let the King of my heart
Be the mountain where I run
The fountain I drink from
Oh, He is my song
Let the King of my heart
Be the shadow where I hide
The ransom for my life
Oh, He is my song
Then the chorus comes in with the repeated declaration that God is good.
At this point, I am still singing along just fine because God is good. His blessings are evident all over my life. I can see His goodness in my home, the faces of my children, the love of my spouse, the careers my husband and I love.
God is good.
It is when we get to the bridge that I start to stumble over the words.
You’re never gonna let
You’re never gonna let
You’re never gonna let me down
You’re never gonna let
You’re never gonna let me down
You’re never gonna let
You’re never gonna let me down
Sigh.
Do we have to sing it so many times??? If we just sang “You’re never gonna let me down” once, I could pass over it easily enough. But when it is repeated again and again and again . . .
I think about the times that I have been let down.
Didn’t He let me down when cancer wasn’t cured?
Didn’t He let me down when my husband and I attended the funerals of 4 children?
Didn’t He let me down when we were grieving the loss of our unborn baby?
You’re never gonna let me down? Really, God? Really!?
And then I saw it it.
I saw God holding me in his arms, comforting me as I was grieving. He was holding onto me during each of those devastating seasons.
And he was whispering in my ear that He wasn’t gonna let me down.
In that moment, my interpretation of the song shifted. It was no longer a promise that I wouldn’t experience disappointments in life. Instead, it was a declaration that He will be there holding me up when I don’t have the strength to stand on my own.
He will never let me down.
He will never let me crumble into my despair alone.
He will hold me. Support me. Lift me up. Comfort me. Breathe life into me. Grieve with me. Stand with me in the sadness. And he will never abandon me in the darkness.
This holy moment at church happened months ago – before all of the chaos, stress, and uncertainty of today.
But this morning when my husband and I stood in church for only the second time in the last 7 months due to the pandemic, my Heavenly Father took my hand in His, and pulled me onto His lap as the worship team began to sing King of My Heart.
Once again, I felt God looking into my eyes and acknowledging the hurt I was feeling. I felt Him saying to me, “I know you are sad. I know you are grieving. I know you are so, so tired. It is okay to be sad. Come rest with me. While the world is crashing all around you, I’m never gonna let you down.”
This life is hard.
Too hard.
But today I am taking comfort in the fact that God is holding me up when I don’t have the strength to do it on my own.
And He is holding you up as well.
Thank you so much for this!! So beautiful and so true!! It’s a crazy world out there but we’re still in His hands and there is still SO much good!!! There will always be evil but there will ALWAYS be God in everything, no matter what. If we just always look for the good we will get through everything!! He will never let us down!!!
A crazy world indeed Rose. I am so thankful to have God holding me up when the crazy feels too hard.
Great post, Rebekah! Amen & amen!
Thank you so much for reading, Jennifer.
Thank you so much! This is one of my favorite songs too – so deep, so comforting. But this week my friend and my long time pastor died of Covid-19. I’m grieving and I know the Lord is with me but then you wrote this…YES! The Lord is holding me in my grief and will heal my hurting heart. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this post. So, so timely in my life as a reminder that God Is Good! With tears in my my eyes, I say Hallelujah.
Ellie, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend and pastor. Life isn’t supposed to be this way. I pray that you will feel the love of God during these dark times.
What an awesome visual of God at work in us! Thank you! Helped me through my day.
I am so happy to hear that this spoke to you, Barbara. Blessings to you.
Thank you for writing this, Rebekah. I had a complex relationship with this song for a while, and, like you, God met me where I was at and showed me that he is good, so good, and that he’s never going to let me down even when it feels like he IS letting me down.
Nicole, thank you so much for sharing. I think it helps when we hear the struggles of other Christians. Thank you!
Thanks for this and I love this song too!
Thank you so much for sharing this. I too have had trouble singing this song at times. Your revelation is speaking to me.