You’re Never Gonna Let Me Down?

Before the pandemic, quarantine, masks, and the stress of “new normal,” I was standing in church and singing a song that was always hard for me to sing.

It was hard to sing because the words were hard to believe.

The song was King of My Heart by Bethel Music.

It starts out easy enough.

Let the King of my heart
Be the mountain where I run
The fountain I drink from
Oh, He is my song
Let the King of my heart
Be the shadow where I hide
The ransom for my life
Oh, He is my song

Then the chorus comes in with the repeated declaration that God is good.

At this point, I am still singing along just fine because God is good. His blessings are evident all over my life. I can see His goodness in my home, the faces of my children, the love of my spouse, the careers my husband and I love.

God is good.

It is when we get to the bridge that I start to stumble over the words.

You’re never gonna let
You’re never gonna let
You’re never gonna let me down
You’re never gonna let
You’re never gonna let me down
You’re never gonna let
You’re never gonna let me down

Sigh.

Do we have to sing it so many times??? If we just sang “You’re never gonna let me down” once, I could pass over it easily enough. But when it is repeated again and again and again . . .

I think about the times that I have been let down.

Didn’t He let me down when cancer wasn’t cured?

Didn’t He let me down when my husband and I attended the funerals of 4 children?

Didn’t He let me down when we were grieving the loss of our unborn baby?

You’re never gonna let me down? Really, God? Really!?

And then I saw it it.

I saw God holding me in his arms, comforting me as I was grieving. He was holding onto me during each of those devastating seasons.

And he was whispering in my ear that He wasn’t gonna let me down.

In that moment, my interpretation of the song shifted. It was no longer a promise that I wouldn’t experience disappointments in life. Instead, it was a declaration that He will be there holding me up when I don’t have the strength to stand on my own.

He will never let me down.

He will never let me crumble into my despair alone.

He will hold me. Support me. Lift me up. Comfort me. Breathe life into me. Grieve with me. Stand with me in the sadness. And he will never abandon me in the darkness.

This holy moment at church happened months ago – before all of the chaos, stress, and uncertainty of today.

But this morning when my husband and I stood in church for only the second time in the last 7 months due to the pandemic, my Heavenly Father took my hand in His, and pulled me onto His lap as the worship team began to sing King of My Heart.

Once again, I felt God looking into my eyes and acknowledging the hurt I was feeling. I felt Him saying to me, “I know you are sad. I know you are grieving. I know you are so, so tired. It is okay to be sad. Come rest with me. While the world is crashing all around you, I’m never gonna let you down.”

This life is hard.

Too hard.

But today I am taking comfort in the fact that God is holding me up when I don’t have the strength to do it on my own.

And He is holding you up as well.