It was a bad day.
A day that made me want to cry. A day that made me want to go to bed and start all over.
A day that made me want to vent about it online. And that’s what I did. I sent a short little message about feeling frustrated with a little one out into cyberspace.
Later I checked in and read her comment. She was trying to be helpful. She was trying to be uplifting. She encouraged me to enjoy it because someday I’ll miss this stage of motherhood.
It didn’t help. Instead I felt more defeated.
Miss this??? Miss this!?!?
How many times have we been told to embrace today? To soak it all in because it goes by so fast? To enjoy it because someday we’ll miss it?
Sometimes I just want to rally all my girlfriends together, scream from the roof tops that I will not miss some parts of motherhood, and listen to the chorus of AMENs shouting out in agreement.
Motherhood is HARD!
And there are things that will not be missed:
- the tantrums that just won’t stop
- waking up at night
- cleaning vomit out of the sheets, carpet, and car
- that time your child bit another kid
- diaper explosions
- being asked for a snack 100,000 times a day
- biting during breastfeeding *ouch*
- always drinking your coffee cold
- potty training
- that moment your kid says the wrong thing in public
- the exhausting feeling that you simply have no clue what you are doing
I highly doubt there are women out there who are sitting around missing potty training. (And if there are, then they can come to my house and take over!!)
Motherhood is hard. Some days are terrible. And that is ok!
We shouldn’t feel guilty for failing to embrace every moment.
Of course I don’t think that is what my friend was trying to tell me. Her words were meant to be a good reminder. They were just poorly timed. 🙂
When we are told, “Enjoy it! You’ll miss this!” I think what these older parents are trying to tell us is…
- Forget the bedtime and read an extra book.
- The mess isn’t so bad. Let your kids paint.
- Supper isn’t worth it if you are screaming at your kids to leave you alone. Give yourself permission to skip it and order a pizza.
- Look your children in the eye when they are talking to you.
- Be silly! The kids will love it.
- Snuggle. Snuggle. Snuggle. And then snuggle some more.
- Don’t be so quick to dismiss your rambling toddler. Instead ask questions!
- Put your phone away and… Go down the slide. Climb into the sandbox. Jump in the pile of leaves with your kids.
- Use the hard-to-maneuver car grocery cart.
- Take lots and lots and lots of pictures.
- Log out of Pinterest the instant you start to feel like you aren’t good enough.
- Store bought is better than homemade if means you are less stressed.
- During those beautiful moments when everyone is happy and having fun, take a deep breath, and soak in all that love.
And during those moments when you want to give up… take a deep breath and try to remember that tomorrow is a new day.
Hopefully it will be a day filled with things that you will miss.
What parts of parenthood will you be happy to leave behind? What will you miss?
This post is being linked to Women Living Well.