The Motherhood That You Won’t Miss
It was a bad day.
A day that made me want to cry. A day that made me want to go to bed and start all over.
A day that made me want to vent about it online. And that’s what I did. I sent a short little message about feeling frustrated with a little one out into cyberspace.
Later I checked in and read her comment. She was trying to be helpful. She was trying to be uplifting. She encouraged me to enjoy it because someday I’ll miss this stage of motherhood.
It didn’t help. Instead I felt more defeated.
Miss this??? Miss this!?!?
How many times have we been told to embrace today? To soak it all in because it goes by so fast? To enjoy it because someday we’ll miss it?
Sometimes I just want to rally all my girlfriends together, scream from the roof tops that I will not miss some parts of motherhood, and listen to the chorus of AMENs shouting out in agreement.
Motherhood is HARD!
And there are things that will not be missed:
- the tantrums that just won’t stop
- waking up at night
- cleaning vomit out of the sheets, carpet, and car
- that time your child bit another kid
- diaper explosions
- being asked for a snack 100,000 times a day
- biting during breastfeeding *ouch*
- always drinking your coffee cold
- potty training
- that moment your kid says the wrong thing in public
- the exhausting feeling that you simply have no clue what you are doing
Amen?
I highly doubt there are women out there who are sitting around missing potty training. (And if there are, then they can come to my house and take over!!)
Motherhood is hard. Some days are terrible. And that is ok!
We shouldn’t feel guilty for failing to embrace every moment.
Of course I don’t think that is what my friend was trying to tell me. Her words were meant to be a good reminder. They were just poorly timed. 🙂
When we are told, “Enjoy it! You’ll miss this!” I think what these older parents are trying to tell us is…
- Forget the bedtime and read an extra book.
- The mess isn’t so bad. Let your kids paint.
- Supper isn’t worth it if you are screaming at your kids to leave you alone. Give yourself permission to skip it and order a pizza.
- Look your children in the eye when they are talking to you.
- Be silly! The kids will love it.
- Snuggle. Snuggle. Snuggle. And then snuggle some more.
- Don’t be so quick to dismiss your rambling toddler. Instead ask questions!
- Put your phone away and… Go down the slide. Climb into the sandbox. Jump in the pile of leaves with your kids.
- Use the hard-to-maneuver car grocery cart.
- Take lots and lots and lots of pictures.
- Log out of Pinterest the instant you start to feel like you aren’t good enough.
- Store bought is better than homemade if means you are less stressed.
- During those beautiful moments when everyone is happy and having fun, take a deep breath, and soak in all that love.
And during those moments when you want to give up… take a deep breath and try to remember that tomorrow is a new day.
Hopefully it will be a day filled with things that you will miss.
What parts of parenthood will you be happy to leave behind? What will you miss?
This post is being linked to Women Living Well.
Well said Rebekah!
Yes! I will not miss the tantrums. But I will miss the sweetness that happens when the tantrums are over. There’s often something good with the bad, isn’t there.
So true! And there are probably things we will love and hate about all stages of motherhood.
Good post. ~~mother of 19- and 23-year-old sons~~
Feel free to share any of your wisdom with me!! I can’t imagine my kids being that old, but I know it will be here before I know it.
This was so good for me to read. It’s good to be reminded that I don’t have to love absolutely every single little tiny bit of being a mama. There are definitely some things that I won’t miss like; hearing my three year old scream/roar because I went down the stairs without them (both three year olds have done it, we’ll see with the third.). I will miss snuggling my four year old and singing her to sleep, I will miss my baby’s hand on my chin while she breastfeeds, and I will miss the joyous shriek of my three year old because we just drove by some “prettiness”. Oh there’s lots to miss and most of the time it makes up for the hard, I won’t miss this moments…after those moments are done.:)
What is it with toddlers and the stairs??? 🙂
Thanks for sharing!
Amen! ! Well said my friend. I will not miss making sure we’ve packed half the house to run errands or visit friends who don’t have kid equipment. The older they get the more mobile they are. I’m loving that!
I am looking forward to retiring the diaper bag! Except that it means my kids aren’t little anymore… 🙁
Agreed! I often think how even though we are told to enjoy those hard moments it’s extremely hard too. Let’s be honest, as our kids get older we tend to forget about all those horrendous tantrums and such and its easy to tell others to just enjoy the moment. It’s definetly harder when you’re in the midst of it.
So true! It is like the pain of childbirth. It all seems to fade over time.
I am an older parent mine are all 10 and up, I don’t miss getting up several times at night at all, but I do miss them coming into bed in the morning for a snuggle or just snuggling any time of the day really. I guess that is why I love family movie night usually someone will snuggle with me then!
yes, Yes, YES!! You took the words out of my mouth. And there are days I get weary of ladies telling me the same thing. I do enjoy mothering- at least most days- and know I will miss many of these moments later, but honestly, there are many moments (as you mentioned) that I simply will not miss. I think those days when it feels like all work, no fun and I’m down and out, the thing I want most from someone is a kind word saying that it’s okay, and that mothering is hard. Anyway…thanks for this post!
Lydia, I think one of the most comforting things we can do as mothers is admit when we are struggling. Pretending we have it all together can be so isolating.